Making decisions can be extremely challenging at times, no matter how big or small the choice may be. There are a few points I would like to shed light on which from my own personal experience have helped alleviate stress and worry when making decisions life. These are my opinions, they have worked for me countless times and I hope you can take something from this post.
The severity of our choices sometimes doesn’t make a difference. Whether it’s what to have for dinner (wow we are so fortunate) or choosing to end a relationship, we often experience a lot of doubt and/or anxiety when it comes to making such decisions.
Have you ever found yourself overwhelmed with ‘too many options’ to choose from? Where the number of possible outcomes is so large that your mind prevents you from making any decision at all? So rather than choosing one of these potentially great, new and exciting opportunities being presented to you, you choose none, because making a decision is just too damn hard.
This is ‘Decision Paralysis’ and it stems from doubt and uncertainty within oneself. It is in other words, a lack of trust in the divine forces and a lack of trust in ones ability to make a ”good choice”.
What Makes A Choice ”Good or Bad”?
This is a question I believe we really need to ask ourselves. What makes something right or wrong? What makes a decision good or bad?
I want you to think of a time in your life when you were suffering. During this time in your life, the ‘you’ that you were may have been thinking along the lines of ”Why is this happening to me”, ”This is so bad” and so on. Now ask yourself, did anything positive come from this suffering? Did you grow? Did you learn? Did you become a better and stronger person? Did you become a more grateful and appreciative person? Usually the answer is YES.
What seemed ”bad” before may now may seem ”good” to you, usually because you have been given time to experience something positive which came from the time of suffering. Eventually our perspective may shift, and we can be thankful for the difficult times because valuable lessons were brought to us.
So how do we know what is good and what is bad? What is right and what is wrong? My answer is that we don’t. However all we can do, and all we can make a conscious effort to do is to trust. This is of course excluding decisions that are infused with negativity and the intention to hurt or maliciously harm others.
Trust Is The Key
When making decisions what matters most is the level of trust we have for the direction we are going in. It’s not about choosing the right path, it’s about trusting the path that you have chosen (again excluding paths that are lead by the malicious intent to harm others).
Imagine you are walking a path through the forest. A fork in the road appears and now it is time to choose between ‘Path A’ and ‘Path B’. You have no reason to believe one path is better than the other, but you have to make a choice. Now let’s say you choose Path A.
All of a sudden doubt creeps into your mind. ”I wonder what is on Path B”, ”Am I missing something even more exciting and beautiful than what I have chosen?” These thoughts are what stop us in our tracks and what make us doubt our decisions simply by the fact that we do not know the answers to them. We do not know what is on the other path, and we never will know. A choice has been made and to save your own sanity, to save yourself from depression/anxiety and to enjoy the path you are on you must trust in the choice you have made. This doesn’t mean it’s wrong to change your mind, of course this is fine, however… make sure to trust in your decision this time.
If you don’t trust in your choices, if you don’t trust in the divine, in the universe, or whatever you may call it, you will be walking backwards down a rocky road. In other words you will be missing all of the beauty and the gifts that have been laid out for you because you’re too busy looking back wondering what would have happened if you chose the alternative.
If you walk facing backwards you’re going to trip up and fall.
Remove Fear From The Worst Case Scenario
Usually what prevents us from making effective decisions is FEAR. When we attempt to predict the future, we assume the outcome of a choice will be the worst case scenario. Then we decide that this ‘worst case scenario‘ is something we really do not want, and so we attach fear to the idea of this horrible vision becoming true, ”I really don’t want this or that to happen”.
First of all, focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. If you water a seed it will grow, the only way to be rid of this fear and negativity is to starve it. So how do we do that?
Imagine this worst case scenario comes true, ask yourself ”Is it really so bad?” Your mind may react with thoughts like ”yes of course it will be terrible”, however this is not you, it is your mind. Close your eyes and ask the question again, this time feel the answer, feel it in your body. Find the spot in your body where you feel it most, and give as much love to that area as possible. Breathe into it and say to the feeling ”I love you and everything is going to work out,” something along those lines. Breathe into the discomfort and give yourself love.
Remember there is an orchestra of forces at play in every moment of every day. We do not know whether a situation is good or bad, no situation is in fact good or bad/positive or negative, but a combination of the two. Through my own experiences I have been proven wrong countless times when time flows and reveals that things which once seemed terrible turned out to be the best things that could ever happen to me.
At first there is pain, and then there are gifts. The question is, will you allow yourself to trust in your path so you may receive these gifts?
We have all experienced doubt and uncertainty, we have all experienced the pain of regret and looking back. We ask ourselves ”What if?” But life is too precious to feed such mind games. The fact is that you are on the path you have chosen. Will you choose to receive beautiful gifts by trusting in the path you are creating, or will you choose to walk whilst facing backwards, missing all of the opportunity your path is begging you to see, living a life of regret and distrust.
I recommend you practice trust.